wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
