when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
