I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You made out with two different species that night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
