who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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