So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
