Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
