I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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