I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
