she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
