After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
