If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
