Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
