I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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