11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
