i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
