she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
