What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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