You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we made out on top of his cat.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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