I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
