IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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