He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
