Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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