no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
