Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk