Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??