Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
