I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
