Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
