Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
