or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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