well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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