Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
