this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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