my phone needs a breathalizer
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We don't watch enough power rangers
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
