I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
