NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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