just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
