So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
