you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
