Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How's work?
Spinning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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