I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
