Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
