Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
