I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
