Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I looked at my own cervix.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
