After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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