You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
