Don't make out with my wife yet
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
