i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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