I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
