You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize