I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
