I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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