i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
