This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
