Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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