so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
