Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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