My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
