Screwed.edu
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
