that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
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DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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