She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
